He Smiled and then I cried

I'm afraid today was a crying day.

I cried when Max threw his hot chocolate sippy cup on my little toe. It hurt.

I cried thinking about all that others go through - with devastating earthquakes ... illness, death ... much harder things than I dealt with today.

I cried because sometimes thinking about doing visiting teaching is too much when I feel like I give all I have to give to my family.

I cried because I felt like I always had a crying tot. Then Max got the cutest most sympathetic look on his face and looked into my eyes and said, "cry?". Then he smiled at me.

I cried when Truman gave me the hugest smile ever. He loves me no matter what. He cheers my heart. Sweet little Tru.

I cried with Hannah when she was so sad that we didn't let her go to the school read-a-thon in the evening.

Then I cried again with Hannah when I tucked her into bed because I felt bad that we can't always do everything for everyone all the time. She understood and was nice about it.

I cried after the kids went to bed because I was too tired and haggard.

I cried myself to sleep because I was glad Jimmy still loved me even though I had cried for half the day.

In all fairness to life, I know I smiled today.

I smiled when Hannah came bouncing happily home from school. I asked if she had a good day. She said, "Of course. Why wouldn't I?" She got a gold dollar for turning in 100 pennies for the 100th day of school.
I smiled when Abe came downstairs dressed as a Musketeer. He told Jimmy he could play with him if he could find a hat and a dress-up.
I know I smiled through some of those tears at 2 cute little tots - Max and Tru when they smiled at me. I'm glad kids still love their mom even when they have a bad day.

I was grateful I DIDN'T cry when I was cleaning up smooshed Tru poop all over my lovely blue flower rug - all while my visiting teacher was here. How embarrassing! Aren't you proud of me for not crying?!

I was grateful I didn't cry when I found out it would cost $700 to fix the alternator and brakes on our car. So grateful the car didn't die for me the other day with 3 tots in the car, in the middle of nowhere, in the winter.

So - I guess today was filled with lots of tears... but a few smiles too. Such is life, I suppose.