We've been at our chore chart for 3 days now. Phew - will I make it? After the first day I was plum tuckered out from the effort to help kids with chores. It was great in that the kids were so excited and were pushing me along to fold laundry and get the chores done. They like to watch a movie while we do it. This morning Abe reminded me about cleaning the playroom and he was a good helper. He even thanked me for helping him. Very random for him! And today he was more than excited to help do the dishes. Last night Hannah eagerly cleaned the bathroom and even volunteered to help scrub the toilet. I think part of it is that they just enjoy spending time with me and that they are clueless about the 'work' part of it being so young. And their motivation - to have a smiley face on the chart at the end of the day seems to work - for this week at least!
BUT from a mother's perspective, it certainly is more tedious to have the kids do chores. I could do it alone in half the time and energy. I kept wanting to take over instead of teaching Hannah the right way to scrub the sink and dripping water all over. Abe loved helping with the dishes. I let him have a bunch of the plastic containers that needed to soak and just dump water...but what a wet mess. So really are they helping... sometimes yes, sometimes no and it depends on the chore and the age of the child. I'm thinking at this point it is better for the kids to work side-by-side with me and we're at least setting the training ground for real chores where they do them by themselves.
One of my family science classes at BYU was from David C. Dollahite. He was compiling this book of articles about the family and our assignment as students was to give our feedback on the various chapters. IT IS A GREAT BOOK! Though I don't own it, I searched and found an article written by Kathleen Slaugh Bahr who wrote the chapter about work and the family. Here is a pdf file with my favorite quotes.Merrilee Browne Boyack shares the idea that if we as parents have the end goal in sight - to train our children to become independent capable adults - we need to commit ourselves and invest the time and energy and effort during this training ground to teach them the value of work.
Honestly, I don't think it is ever easy to get your kids to work, even as much as you train them when they are tiny. My mom and dad did a super job of teaching us the importance of working hard. And they are great examples of working hard and working happily together as a family to get the job done. As a teenager I remember complaining about cleaning my room and doing my chores (sorry mom!). But in the end, I learned the value of work.
I wanted to write this post as a reminder to myself of 'why' I need to keep a goin' teaching my kids to work, even when it's hard on me. It's a long post with a bunch of my blah, blah, blahing but perhaps someday I'll be glad I was making efforts with my kids early on - perhaps!?!?! We shall see.
9 comments:
It really IS worth it Heather! After all those hours of "teaching" kids how to do different jobs, they really do get to the point where you can hand them the cleaning goods and say, "clean the bathroom." Hang in there! It'll pay off! That's so cool of you to spend more time than it would take for you to do the job in teaching your kids how to do it. Good job!
I agree 100%. It mostly involves total committment from us as parents. When we are slackers, they will be slackers. If we are not committed to teaching them, they won't learn how to work. It IS hard. Especially when prego, tired, or you name it. With Braden being 7, it is really nice as I can completely turn certain chores over to him and he will do them, and do them well. So it will get better that way, especially with Hannah being your oldest. It seems at least for me just when I get a good system down the kids get tired of it.....such is the life of a mother. My boys enjoy helping out when I make it into a game...lots gets done then!
Heather, You are such a great mom! Your kids will know one day how blessed they were to grow up in your home. I love the article about Family Work, and am interested in getting that book on Strengthening Families. Thanks for all these great ideas. I love your blog!
Wow I need to send my kids over to your house for some training, or maybe I just need some myself!
Great job Heather. It is an example for all of us to follow. We have a chore chart and go through phases of being very thorough and then slacking off a bit. It is fun. My kids earn tickets and then we have different types of rewards they can choose from. It gives them lots of incentive.
I'm very impressed by your efforts. I don't have enough energy to even try. Thanks for the inspiration to try, maybe I'll try another day when I feel up to it.
Love this post! I just read the book by Merilee Boyack and am also very excited to get started. Thanks for sharing your great chore chart I am going to print one.
It IS so much more work to have kids help than to just do it yourself but it WILL be worth it later. Hang in there.
I LOVE your graphics on this post, and your ideas. Trevor had the choice between band and "Work and Family Life" class at school, and I'm thinking, why am I even thinking about band???? But in the end, he's going to persevere with the trumpet :) . I guess I'll have to keep crackin' the whip here!
I hear ya on the doing it faster yourself. I also wonder if I'm just a nag when they are doing it. I always ask "is it mom clean?" sometimes it's "ya" others its "um just a minute." I am at the point were I can just check it after with my older kids. But it is still a lot more work then doing it myself. Keep up the good work. You hit the nail on the head. It is beause we want them to become responsible adults. Keeping that goal in mind with you. love ya
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