Elevated Memories vs. Reality

I've thought a lot lately about people's perception of situations and memories. It seems as though I've met quite a few people who have elevated or glorified memories of their life. For example, tonight a lady at church reminisced that when she delivered her baby, she wasn't even as big as I am (probably not the most sensitive comment to a pregnant lady with 4 months left til delivery). And another lady only gained 16 lbs in her pregnancy and that her mother actually weighed less when she left the hospital than when she got pregnant...but that in the last 3 months she really only ate tuna fish. I'm thinkin' I'd rather gain 40 lbs and eat normal foods. And I had an experience with a complete stranger - a woman with an almost-teenage son who had an elevated memory of what it is like to raise a toddler boy and was bold in her criticism of my parenting.

I've realized that criticism in these situations is much more hurtful to both parties than helpful. I believe that having compassion really does bolster spirits. So instead of having my feelings hurt and taking offense, I am attempting (yes... attempting)... to take a higher road and set a goal - a promise to myself that in 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years, I won't have glorified memories of my mothering skills or pregnancy size. I agree that it is best to look for the good in our lives and to remain optimistic about our situation - whatever it may be. But in the present & the future, I want to have more compassion and empathy for young mothers but also give them hope and encouragement so that they can have confidence to keep-a-going despite the impatient moments and discouraging days. For in the end, aren't we all just doing our best (as imperfect as my best may be) trying to find our way and help our children find their way the best we know how.

Last year I had an ultra discouraging Sunday at church. Jimmy was away at a ward conference and I left half-way through Sacrament Meeting with me totally in tears and 2 crying toddlers. I remembered this quote by Thomas S. Monson and it helped to think of other mothers and that they survived all the difficult motherhood moments. It's not that I rejoice hearing about other mom's struggles, but sometimes it is comforting to know that I'm not alone in my discouragement... and realizing that there is hope for me to overcome the temporary trials.

So - these are just my random babblings that entered my mind on my drive home from mutual. The End!